2003-08-21 - 6:01 p.m.

There are plenty of really dumb sex laws in the USA. I remember reading that there are 13 or 14 states where oral sex is forbidden, and I wanted to find out which those 13 states are. So I googled some weeks ago and found a lot of really .. well, weird, sex related laws. I'd say some are just plain .. well, fucking stupid sex laws. Here are some of the best ones (I printed them so there can be a copy of them in the car, so it will be a lot easier to break the laws when you know what is forbidden and where).

Arizona

- Cottonwood: It is illegal for a couple to have sex in a vehicle with flat wheels. The fine is doubled if the sex occures in the back seat.

- It is illegal for unmarried persons to have sex. The penalty is three years in prison. Unmarried adults in Arizona who decide to fool around a little are committing a serious felony. Anyone single, man or woman, caught having sex can be sent to the penitentiary for three full years.

(I think it's discriminating to separate what is allowed to married or not-married people. It could state as well white or non-white etc.)

California

- Adultery is punishable by a $1,000 fine and/or one year in prison.

- Husbands and wives are prohibited from having oral sex

- Ventura County: cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

(Yea, right. That was nearly what I was thinking about Cali)

Connecticut

- "Private sexual behavior between consenting adults" is still illegal in Connecticut. This odd law makes absolutely no distinction between married and single couples.

(One of my favorites!)

Florida

- Oral sex is punishable by a 20-year prison term.

(Guess what I'll do as the first thing in Florida?)

Georgia

- A man was sentenced to five years in prison for engaging in oral sex. With his wife. With her consent. In their home.

Idaho

- Coeur d'Alene: If a police officer in suspects a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.

(I guess I'll have to try this. And have a watch very close to have an exact look for 180 seconds)

Illinois

- It is illegal for a husband and wife to have sex while out hunting or fishing on their wedding day.

Indiana

- It is illegal to entice someone under 21 to masterbate.

- Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a "tendency to habitually kiss other humans."

Kansas

- Anal sex is punishable by a maximum six-month prison term.

Louisiana

- It’s illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it

(I wonder how many women and men still respect this law?)

Maine

- Buckfield: It is illegal for a cab driver to charge a passenger a fare if the passenger had sex with the driver while on their way home from any place that sold liquor.

Maryland

- Condom vending machines may only be installed in places where alcohol is served.

- Anal sex is punishable by a one to 10 year prison sentence.

- It is illegal to have oral sex with a person or an animal.

Michigan

- It is illegal to masturbate. The penalty is five years in prison.

- Sex between unmarried consenting adults is punishable by a fine up to $5000 and/or up to five years in prison. Single guys and gals caught in the act of sex in Michigan can be fined as much as $5,000, and they could be sentenced to as many as five years in prison.

- Detroit: couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.

- A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.

(They should arrest everybody, as 100 % of people masturbate, or have masturbated. Those who say they don't are lieing.)

Minnesota

- Alexandria: It is illegal for a man to have sex with his wife if his breath stinks of garlic, onions, or sardines. By law, the husband must brush his teeth if asked to by his wife.

Missouri

- It is illegal to have oral sex.

(This is the law I want to break in all the states where it's forbidden. I started in Texas, but later found out only same-sex oral is forbidden there. Oh well, I guess it was just good practise.)

Nebraska

- Hastings: It is illegal for a man and woman to sleep together in a hotel when both are naked. Also, a couple may not have sex in the hotel unless they are both wearing plain white cotton nightshirs, which, by law, must be provide to them by the hotel.

- Anal sex is illegal and punishable by a $5,000 fine and 10 years in prison.

Nevada

- Condoms are mandatory for sex with legal prostitute.

New Jersey

- It is illegal for two men to masturbate in the presence of each other or to masturbate each other. The penalty is three years in prison.

New Mexico

- Carlsbad: It is illegal for couples to have sex in a parked car or van while on their lunch break if they can be seen by passerby.

New Mexico

- Oral sex is punishable by a two to 10 year prison term and a $5,000 fine.

(Been there..)

Oregon

- Willowdale: A husband may not use profanity while making love to his wife. The same is not true for his wife, who may cuss to her heart's content when she's with her loving husband.

Rhode Island

- It is illegal for unmarried persons to have sex. The fine is $10. Unmarried people are prohibited from partaking of bedroom activities under any circumstances. However, if caught, the lovers are both fined $10.

- Oral sex is punishable by a seven to 10 year prison term.

(You know what to do in Rhode Island now...)

South Dakota

- Oral sex is punishable by a 10 year prison term.

Tennessee

- Skullbone: It is illegal for a women to masturbate a man or perform oral sex on him while he is driving a car.

The law bans a woman from "pleasuring a man" while he is sitting behind the wheel of any moving vehicle. Any man stopped and found with the front of his pants undone can be fined a minimum of $50 and serve 30 days in jail.

(There is one state where it is illegal for a woman to have sex with the male driver in a moving vehicle. There is no state where it's illegal for a male to have sex with a female driver in a moving vehicle. Some guys mayve can come while they drive - I couldn't for sure. But it'd be legal.)

Texas

- Sex between unmarried consenting adults is punishable by a $500 fine. Single adults in Texas who are apprehended while having sex are charged with a misdemeanor and given a $500 fine.

(And same-sex oral is forbidden in Texas. Discriminating people's sex behaviour in the base of their marital status is discriminating. And people over 18 should be allowed to do what ever they like to each other, as long as both enjoy and consent.)

Utah

- Oral sex is punishable by six months prison term and a $299 fine.

- Sex with an animal—unless performed for profit—is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal.

(Wait - cows and sheep are profit animals, thus sex with a sheep or a cow must be legal?)

Virginia

- Adultery is punishable by a $20 to $100 fine.

- Romboch: it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on.

- Norfolk: a woman can't go out without wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job —for men only —called a corset inspector.)

(I've never worn a corset. And if I'll ever go to Romboch, I'll have sex with lights on)

Washington

- It's against the law to make love to a virgin, whatever the circumstances, anywhere in the state of Washington. According to the wording of the legislation, it's a major crime even to marry and then spend the night with a virgin bride in that city.

(This is my absolute favorite sex law!!!)

Washington D.C.

- The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

(I guess I'll prefer any other position in D.C.)

Wyoming

- It is illegal to entice or help someone under 21 to masturbate.

~ * ~ * ~

14 states: Heterosexual oral sex is illegal.

Hawaii, Iowa, Maine, Mississippi: These states have the youngest age of sexual consent: 14.

Sodomy laws still: (any non-reproductive, non-commericial sex between adults in private) in : Alabama, Florida, Idaho, klLouisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Utah, Virgina and Puerto Rico.

Up until 1884, a woman could be sent to prison for denying a husband sex.

As recently as 1990, these states had laws against the use of dildos: Idaho, Utah, Arizona, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Washington D.C.

South Dakota threatens a 10-year prison term for "copulation by means of mouth." Utah has made this same act a misdemeanor. There, oral sex brings a six-month jail term and a $299 fine. Rhode Island labels it an "'abominable, detestable crime against nature," and such activity brings a seven-to-10-year stretch in the penitentiary. It is outlawed in New Mexico where participation is punishable by a $5,000 fine and a two-to-10-year sentence. Florida chastises with a 20-year prison sentence those who take part in this act.

Why do the states have to regulate what is legal and what not in the sex? I would not allow sex with animals, but as long as there are 2 people who both like what they do it should be ok.