2004-07-11 - 4:08 p.m.

Life is just a Truman Show. Smile, because it is the appearance that is important. It is important that you appear happy. Act as if you were that - the same way you see the white surface marriages in Hollywood and perhaps where you live.

Everything from music to food and clothing to cosmetics and computers, has its best before date. What would you do when your best before date has passed, when you are expired? When either your body slowly ceases function by function, and you lose the control over yourself, or when life makes your existance questionable? Or when your existance has no acceptable reason on paper?

Things happen for a reason. Sometimes just existing needs a reason too. What if you have no reasons? "I am alive, let me live". No, too plain. "I am alive because some contraception method failed over 20 years ago". No, never mind.

I fail. I don't have the control over myself. I do not have a reason.

I used to like people showing their feelings, but I no longer want to be vulnerable, or deal with any issues.

The World is a Truman Show, a MacDonalds, a Barbie World. Smile, adore the pink plastic with the perfect, plastic bodies and plastic, pink relationships.

I will smile. I will have my coffee, and see how long I will keep going as a Duracell bunny without changing the batteries.